She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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