69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize