Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
