How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
