I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
