DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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