You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
