are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My ass is underappreciated
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
