I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
