Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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