i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
