Jerry, you need to find god
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
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Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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