I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
vagina is talking i cant
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
