Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
