absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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