Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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