For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
