Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
