Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
