Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
