Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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