just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
