Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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