Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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