I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
At least life still wants to fuck me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
