I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
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What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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