the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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