god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
