i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
