and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
