I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just googled if crying burns calories
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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