her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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