mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We're too hungover to prance.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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