im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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