he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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