ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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