hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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