thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
