What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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