cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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