is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
