Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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