And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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