"it" just moved
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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