They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
