You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
