goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
