4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do you still have your period?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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