I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
