I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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