He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
