Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
