She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
