You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So squirting runs in the family.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
