So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just gift wrapped bread.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
