That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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