We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
