woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
