You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
